mindless_wheels - up and down emotions

Current Location:	home
Subject:	up and down emotions
Time:	04:14 pm
Current Mood:	happy

My emotions are quite different from last week. A girl with raging hormones and emotions in her 40's (yes 40's) but not in a foot in the grave yet, is unbearable. First I am happy, then sad, the about ready to cry, and then up again. Geeeze.

Last week I was so depressed about my shitty trip to Chicago. I felt hopeless like I was never going to take another trip in my life. My husband hates to travel, were I want to do as much as I can and see the world before I get to weak to do so.

Now this week...I am happy, excited, and so glad that spring is here. I think the trip to Michigan is confirmed, both Annette (my childhood friend) and Michelle, my college friend, are taking to see Craig Ferguson in Royal Oak, Michigan June 13. They know how devastated I was about the whole Chicago thing and my missing my chance to meet Craig.

So off we are going on a "girls trip" for 6 days. We are going to Chicago to pick up my friend Annette and then driving up to Michigan. The day after "Craig" we are driving up to Canada.....I have some friends up there.

The most exciting thing in the past few days is 1. my dad is coming down to see us in a week and a half, and 2. I got an email from the director of the theatre in Michigan yesterday saying that the "wheels were turning" for me to get to see Craig Ferguson backstage. If that is true..I will be so damn happy. I can't tell you.

Can you believe that I have never in my life been such a big fan of someone. I always thought it was kind of cheesy to be so interested in someone famous. There is something about Craig Ferguson I can relate to, for many reasons...one that activities of the 80...did a bit of drinking, etc then myself (we are about the same age). I had major drug and alcohol issues. That is what I tell people as to why I am in the shape I am in..too much partying in my college days.

Also, he just seems human. I like that..he seems real.
I have been through so much and I relate to others that have been through shit too.

The last reason I am excited in doing this..is my late friend Mary. ( I think I have posted that before)...she was really a fan of Craig Ferguson, she was very ill and watched tv all the time. She would watch Craig on Drew Carey and laugh her ass off when she was in chronic pain.

I found out this past October that she passed away, she was like a sister to me. Her family neglected to call me and let me know. Since then I have been depressed and at times felt like giving up. The planning of these trips and possible meeting Craig Ferguson has kept me going. Kept my mind off the loss of my best friend. We shared everything.

So with a hope and a prayer, things will go better this time.

You know I really am not a depressive person. I enjoy what life I have had, even tho there has been some scary brushes with death. I enjoy every moment I have with this ventilator. Hopefully one of those moments will be meeting Craig.

If not, just going on a trip with my two best friends and feeling free will be the most awesome feeling.

Peace all
a

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April 25th, 2008

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